Reader's essay from CET-4 test

Professor Xia gives his version of a reader's submission. The CET-4 writing topic is given at bottom left.

Before

It was on a rainy day that the accident happened. Tommy, my classmate, was turning a corner when his bike ran into another. He got his arm broken and was then hospitalized.

Soon we got to learn of his misfortune. Considering that he was prevented from going to school, a major job was to help him with his lessons so that he wouldn't fall behind. Many teachers and students volunteered and laboured at this special teaching, reducing the effect of the accident. Besides, we tried to talk to him cheerfully, in the hope of relieving his depression. And it worked. He became more optimistic, could tolerate pain better, and held a positive attitude toward this matter.

This experience convinces me that love between people will never fade, regardless of the fast pace of industrial civilization. We do not know what will befall us next minute, but we know we are living in a community of saintly, kind-hearted people. Love and care are always there, ready to pull us through difficulties of all kinds.

(This essay could get 12-13 points according to the CET marking scheme.)

After

It was on a rainy day that the accident happened. Tommy, my classmate, was turning a corner when his bike ran into another bike. He broke his arm and was hospitalized.

We soon learned of his misfortune. As he couldn't attend school, the major job was to help him with his lessons so that he wouldn't fall behind. Many teachers and students volunteered and laboured at this special task, in order to reduce the effect of the accident on his studies. We also tried to talk to him cheerfully, in the hope of lessening his depression. And it worked. He became more optimistic, could tolerate pain better, and had a positive attitude toward the matter.

This experience convinced me that loving care between people will never fade, regardless of the fast pace of industrial civilization. We do not know what will befall us in the next minute, but we do know we are living in a community of kind-hearted people. Love and care are always there, ready to pull us through difficulties of all kinds.



Submit your own essay and you may see it reviewed here

To help readers improve their writing skills for the College English Test, Professor Xia Guozuo was asked by 21st Century to do a revision and add comments on readers' essays. All you need do is write the essay according to the directions given below and address it to elt@21stcentury.com.cn.



CET-4 writing topic (Last September) :

Direction: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition of at least 120 words on the topic "The Day My Classmate Fell Ill (or Got Injured)" based on the outline given below in Chinese.



1、简单叙述一下这位同学生病（或受伤）的情况；

2、同学、老师和我是如何帮助他/她的；

3、人与人之间的这种相互关爱给我的感受是……